Where'd I get this itch?!

What is up with these split personality emails? It baffles me. I open my mail and see an email entitled Gods Blessings. Hmm I say to myself, this aught to be uplifting. So I open it up and sure enough there is wonderful feel good message straight from "chicken soup for the sappy soul" and I'm feeling good. Almost like someone just shot me up in the arm with a good dose of love. I'm feeling the warm fuzzies, the whole bit. Then I get to the bottom and it's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or something. The whole personality of the email has split and now I'm feeling a bit threatened because  apparently if I don't send this to EVERYONE I know in the next 30 sec. then I am going to loose all my money, all my loved ones and my soul.  The best thing about it is that I NEVER pass them on. Ever! So after careful documentation I now have accumulated 431 days of bad luck. 13 years of acute anxiety disorder, - 76 years of prosperity and really bad rash!