Church and State

So I'm LDS which most of you already know. I have been sitting on the sidelines for a while now watching everyone go on and on about prop 8. I haven't wanted to get involved because honestly I already have my views about it and I am a firm believer in the saying "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." So on that note I am not going to write in such a way that I am trying to convince anyone to change their views on anything. I am only going to pose a couple questions that have been really bothering me lately. Mostly regarding the LDS church and their overwhelming support of "yes on prop 8".

First off I'm having a hard time understanding why the church is getting involved at all in a political issue. Does the whole separation of church and state not apply for some reason here? Some might say "well this is a moral issue so we need to get involved". If that's true then why didn't we get involved when we jumped head first in to this war? I find that war often leads to death and destruction of whole cities. I'm pretty sure that ought to be considered a moral issue! Why was there not a peep out of church leaders about that?

Why is our church raising and spending $21 million on the fight against gay marriage? 2 1 M I L L I O N D O L L A R S?!!! How many starving children could we have fed with that money? How many lives could we have saved in Darfur? How many homeless people could we have reached out to? And all because we are afraid. This is a civil rights issue. And last time I checked out church history we didn't have the best reputation for upholding civil rights. The LDS church took a stand against the civil rights of women, and black people. Of course your not gonna get that info at church, but check out some church history and it's all there. And as far as I could tell it all worked out all right. I mean, I can own property and vote, so thats good... right? Could it be that we are in the same situation now?

I recently read a book called SWAY. It talks about why people do irrational things. It says that two major reasons why people make irrational choices is because of #1 Fear of loss and #2 Commitment. I was thinking about how that applies to this prop 8 situation. The rationale I am hearing from people in the church is that they are afraid of losing their own rights if gay people are allowed to get married. That is what the average white man was afraid of in the 19th century with blacks gaining their own civil rights. I also see how the church has sent out the calvary on this issue and all these people are doing it out of a strong commitment to their faith. Key word there is commitment. Case in point, 70% of the funds raised in the christian coalition are from the LDS church members. So what I am asking you all now is, does all of this seem rational to you?

God asked us to use our faculties and choose for ourselves. Yes the LDS church has a prophet and for some it is enough to follow him without taking the time to pray for ourselves. But I don't think that is what his purpose here is. You don't have to read much of the scriptures, ancient or modern, to see that prophets are quite capable of making bad choices here and there, just like the rest of us. (I'm tempted to put a slanderous racial quote in here from Brigham Young, but I'll spare you.) So this is my conundrum. I am seriously disappointed in how members are handling this situation. But, who knows. Maybe i'm just the voice of corruption, the spawn of the devil. Or that poor Megan who fell by the wayside. Judge if you must, but as my good friend Amanda says, "I choose to ere on the side of compassion."

Birthdays

So this week was a week of celebration because my sister Lissa and I shared our birthdays. I am on the 27th and she is on the 28th. As a kid growing up we always had to have joint parties. And because I have always enjoyed the limelight, sharing my day of glory with anyone else was not really fun. In fact I can remember as a kid running to my room in tears because a friend got to pass out the paper plates at MY party. It was emotional. The whole thing always reminds me of that song... "it's my party and I'll cry if I want to, you would cry to if it happened to you!" (I like attention. Me, me, me. Just ask my husband. I think I have mellowed out a little since I turned 30 a couple days ago though.)

So the last couple years with my sis living so close has been quite fun. It's not like we throw each other keggers or even do anything official. It's always laid back. But I can always count on her getting me the perfect gift and she is always hard, but fun to shop for. One year we just went to Thrift Town and had a blast digging through the dirt that is used clothing. We each bought each other some smelly, dusty second hand item and walked away feeling very satisfied. It was fun. This year she got me this amazingly cute, ornate yellow, metal jewelry tree to put all my necklaces on. (But originally it was a mug rack.) Needless to say I LOVED IT! It took me a couple thrift stores to find her a couple books that I thought she'd enjoy. So now, being 30, and much more mature, I am finding it very fun to share my special day with my sister. I wouldn't want to share it with anyone else. And I'm not just saying that either! I think she is a perfect sister to me. Did I mention she did my dishes for me on my b-day? And that when I was going through a hard time a few months back she came over and totally helped me to clean my entire house!!! It's so relieving to have her next door so that when I try to dress "hip" she can tell me if I look stupid or am trying to hard. She is always there in a pinch to watch the kids. And she is my most favoritest person to hang out with which is good since I've been doing it for years. It's a total comfort knowing that she's got my back in every way. I love my sis. Happy Birthday to US!

If you want to be hip and happy

Then buy something from my sister. Seriously, she just moved into the cute cottage next door and I go over there just to bask in the beauty that is her stuff! She has a knack for finding killer vintage items. Her cottage albeit cozy is only 800 sqft and is running out of places to put things. But her talent and need for finding treasures persists so she got on Etsy.com. So if you like retro, hip, cool or quaint follow your curiosity and my recommendation to PocketVintage!

The most vivid and demented dream...

I'm walking through this huge old school. The architecture is amazing and although it's supposed to be a high school, the campus is like that of a university. I'm lost and feeling anxious. I seemed to have misplaced my locker. The school has multiple levels and as I'm tracking up and down long corridors and metal stairwells, I notice the crowd slowly dispersing. Pretty soon I will be alone here, and lost!

My anxiety heightens as I rush away from the ominous buildings over a bridge that at the moment seems much to long and solitary. I'm getting panicky, and can tell I'm not thinking rationally as I drop my purse to the ground, kneel beside it and recklessly scramble through it with a prayer that my car keys are in it and not in my missing locker. I must get out of here as soon as possible. A flood of relief rushes over me as I pull them from the pocket.

Then suddenly there are two figures standing over me. I look up and two guys are smiling down at me. But it is a knowing smile they share, with a confidence that seems out of place for the situation. They look about 19 or so. The heavier of the two is a dirty blonde. His eyes are larger and rounder. He has a slight case of acne on his full cheeks. He has a face that in different circumstances might come off as kind. He is holding out a car key to me. I take it to inspect and notice that the grip on the key is old and looks like a dog has gotten to it and that it belongs to a Saturn. "Jenny wants you to have it" he says. (Jenny was my best friend in middle school and I haven't seen or heard from her in years.)

I study their faces in confusion. The other guy is about the same height but with darker hair and smaller build. His over all appearance is somewhat wiry. He has small dark eyes and the same sense of confidence that is making me uneasy. I stand and hold the key out to them, as he takes it I say "I don't know what you are talking about." I walk away but it doesn't take me long to realize they are slowly following me. I follow the end of the bridge down and hang a right so I'm facing it from a side view. I can see them casually walking to the end of the bridge, the afternoon sun casting them as silhouettes. Thats when I notice the white Saturn two door parked directly under the tall, shadowy bridge. There is a small trickle of water running under the bridge and from the slope of the embankment I gathered it was once a decent flowing stream. The Saturn was positioned at a slight angle, it's front wheels on one side of the trickle of water, it's back wheels on the opposite side. It appears to be vacant. To the right sits a cement utility building among a forest of trees that create a natural barricade behind the bridge. It's front has windows that appear to be covered with some kind of paper.

Once again the two guys are next to me holding out the key. I take it and ask "where is Jenny?"
"She wanted you to be the one to find her." the sandy haired boy said.
"She's in the car?" I ask.
They stand in silence. I look again at the white Saturn, straining my eyes to see if someone could possibly be inside. I start to make out a form sitting in the drivers seat, or is it just shadows from the bridge? Why would she be sitting there waiting for me? It couldn't be... could it?
I look back at them my eyes searching for some kind of explanation. There is only that knowing look. I am now thoroughly freaked out.
Slowly the realization that she is, in fact, sitting in that seat and in what condition only God knows.
"What did you do to her!" I exclaim out of terror.
"She asked us to"
"She's dead, you killed her!"
"She chose to, we only did what she asked" the sandy haired boy said.
"And her makeup." reminds the wiry boy.
"Makeup?!"
A kind of satisfaction crossed their faces as they watched my horrified realization.
"I don't believe you!" I said with a determined tone. But inside I knew it was true.
"Well why don't you leave then?"
"you can go to your car now that you found your key."

I started running towards the bridge, frantic to get out of the situation. Again, they followed me, with the now all too familiar, unconcerned demeanor. Then it hits me. How did he know I was searching for my key. How did they know who I was and where I'd be?! All of the sudden I feel as though I am some kind of pawn in a horrific mind game. The knowing looks, the calm sureness that they carried in every movement and word. Are they going to do to me what they did to Jenny?! I can't go back to my car! They are following me. Is that what they did to her? I search the horizon and see that everyone is gone. The old buildings are lifeless. It 's vacant. A surge of adrenaline warms my insides and I turn to face them. I have no choice. I storm past them back down toward the car. I don't need to turn around to know that they once again are slowly following me. They are like some kind of beast, playing with her food before eating in satisfaction.

I am going to find out who is in that white Saturn! I have to know what I'm dealing with. I won't fall into their trap and lead them to my car! As I approach the bank, my pace slows. The closer I get, the more apparent it is that someone is in fact lifeless in the front seat. I imagine my best friend. Her fair skin and dark walnut hair. Her sense of humor, her smartness. Her essence. I can't bring myself to see her in any other way. I stop.

The next thing I know I am standing in the utility building. I panic as I search for an escape. There are lot's of windows, but they are all covered. The floor has some tacky utility carpet in turquoise. There is some kind of waiting area with chairs. I see a glass panel that slides open and I can imagine it as some sort of check in. I feel like I am in the waiting area of an office or clinic. The sandy haired boy and his partner are there. Waiting for something. I feel sick, trapped and heavy! I see a man on the other side of the glass panel approach. He is in his thirties. He is evil! I can tell that the sandy haired boy is his younger brother. They are talking about me. It is now that I realize that I did fall in to the trap. They didn't want me to lead them to my car. They wanted me to go to the Saturn and now I know that they are planning to do to me what ever they wanted. I hear someone outside.
"hello, who's down here?"
I scream and lunge for the window. I frantically try to rip off the paper and break the glass. My hands are moving so fast, but it seems like they aren't accomplishing anything!
"help me!", a horrified scream rips from my mouth.
"I'm in here!"
"don't leave me!"
I go on and on. Begging for help. But there is nothing, just silence and the man behind the glass. Glaring at me with a deviant look. And with it I know that I soon will be dead.

Then Aiden wakes me up, it's 7:28 am.

The goings on

So a lot has been going down lately. Lissa (my sis) and my documentary on The Power of Forgiveness is slowly manifesting from thought to reality. "Slowly" is the key word there. We are really pretty excited about it though. Our dad is going to create the soundtrack for it which will for sure be amazing since he lives music every day of his life. I have a local artist who is working with us who's pieces will be included. We are trying to contact people to interview who have experienced compelling stories of forgiveness in their lives. So if any of you five people who actually read this blog know someone who might be a good candidate, do tell! Dan is taking "time off" of work to finally complete his demo. It's liberating and hella scary at the same time. So here we are, ready to seize the day! Lets hope we actually do. Dan has a pretty good shot at being hired at Rockstar video games in Scotland or London. That would be crazy cool too because I feel like the draw to return to the motherland. Lissa and I joke about it. I have never been but I feel like it would be the next step in my spiritual journey. The reiki energy is supposed to be powerful there. Audrey is sneezy happy! Happy because we got her the cutest most lovable kitten, and sneezy cuz she seems to be allergic. So we named her pepper cuz she is black and white and has a little black spot on her nose and also if Audrey puts her face too close her eyes get red and she sneezes. Oh and about my colon cleanse. I had my first swamp thing happen in the bathroom last week. I couldn't bring myself to take a picture. It felt unnecessary since it looked just like the pictures on the website! If your curiosity gets the better of you click here. It looked JUST like that! It was disturbing and somewhat satisfying as well. And there you have it.